- Samantha Hoch
I need your hand
Updated: Nov 7, 2019
The pieces of her life lay shattered on the floor
Still spiraling from a kinetic outburst
She’s the one meant to tidy them up.
Hot streams of regret drip from her face
And soak through the gloss of children’s hair
As she offers the comfort of a melody
The wincing ridges of her forehead
Offer a different tune.
The weight of his steps collapse the ice sheath
Hardening the crunch of crystalline snow
Marring the porcelain face of nature
Forging small voids of destruction along his way.
His snow-caked boots propel him forward
The flickering light of a neon sign
Beckons him further from home.
She starts at the thumps of little feet
Small noises like these stab through her.
She masks her irritability
As she pats concealer on her skin.
She kisses the tiny foreheads
Rushes through the tiny book
With a gently measured tone
And a camouflaging inflection;
These problems are her own.
Who knows where his emptiness will take him
Through a rolling collapse of self, no doubt.
He’ll come home with a heart
Full of remorse
Shaky hands offering a new piece of life;
Promises not to shatter it again.
She’ll lay awake in anticipation,
Trembling at the possibilities.
Though every reverberating footstep
Pounds through her like an angry fist
She’ll pretend to be asleep.
His affections will consume her battered frame
Her apprehension would only disturb him
So she’ll absorb his whiskey exhale
With the repentance that his lips force upon hers
She won’t know how to turn him away.
She’ll continue to offer rationalization
As she paints a glossier truth
She’ll lighten her paces and soften her tone
She’ll tell her family “Everything’s fine;”
Her eyes will tell you otherwise.
Her absence often with lack of reason
Will precede a bouquet of excuses.
A floral fragrance acts as a veil
The stench of a lie will go unnoticed
Unless you decide to open your eyes.
The bruises and limping will worsen,
The children will inherit his aggression
Unless you take my hand in time.
Hurry up because I can’t leave him
I know I don’t have the strength.
I can’t bear for my children to be him
Or fall victim to his strike.
I need your hand to pull me up
Because without it I will stay down.
The weight of his boots collapse my dignity
Forging small voids of destruction in my mind
Please don’t turn your back on me,
It’s going to cost me my life.