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  • Samantha Hoch

Luke 21:19

Updated: Nov 7, 2019


You didn’t know it then

but the mother you adored

was a victim

and someday soon

you would be the victim

in her place.

You couldn’t have been able to see

your golden curls

sparkling blue eyes

and silky soft countenance

Hardening with time

fading to an ashy brown

and then grey

losing their luster

glazing with pain

in order to protect

A newfound clarity.

You would cry if I tell you now

that you will be left

you will be lost

you will be unloved

Many more times

than the day

he swore to see you in another week

but disappeared

for twenty years.

But you still haven’t seen

A decade of suffering

the death of your only life source

the indifference of your heroes

the realization of desolation

the familiarity with what begins

as the horrid acceptance

of complete isolation.

You’d never believe in love

because it doesn’t exist to you now.

but you’ll have it

and lose it

half a dozen more times.

You will feel it’s blistering strike

to the face

it’s tearing of flesh

the drop of blood from your nose

like a red red rose

the purple socket of your eye

as deep as the birthstone

centering the diamonds

that sparkle like tears

in the middle of your hand.

You haven’t tasted that metal

pool in your mouth

but that flavor is yet coming

and he’ll teach you to savor it

the way your last hero did.

You don’t know it yet

but you will break free

change your look

change your name

change your habits

change your friends

change your family

and be the sole inmate

of a prison you construct

for another whole decade.

You can’t see her yet

but she will struggle back up

as many times as she falls

Plus one

Plus one

Plus one more time

Your knees aren’t bloodied yet

but she will fight back up

battered like a corpse

but still with a spirit

that revives her.

You don’t feel it now

but that sting will push her harder

because loss takes away

what you have to lose.

You don’t know me yet,

but I am surviving

Yet

I am thriving

our demons are tired

a new day breaks

we know we can’t trust it

but we will be ready

For whatever comes next.