- Samantha Hoch
Luke 21:19
Updated: Nov 7, 2019
You didn’t know it then
but the mother you adored
was a victim
and someday soon
you would be the victim
in her place.
You couldn’t have been able to see
your golden curls
sparkling blue eyes
and silky soft countenance
Hardening with time
fading to an ashy brown
and then grey
losing their luster
glazing with pain
in order to protect
A newfound clarity.
You would cry if I tell you now
that you will be left
you will be lost
you will be unloved
Many more times
than the day
he swore to see you in another week
but disappeared
for twenty years.
But you still haven’t seen
A decade of suffering
the death of your only life source
the indifference of your heroes
the realization of desolation
the familiarity with what begins
as the horrid acceptance
of complete isolation.
You’d never believe in love
because it doesn’t exist to you now.
but you’ll have it
and lose it
half a dozen more times.
You will feel it’s blistering strike
to the face
it’s tearing of flesh
the drop of blood from your nose
like a red red rose
the purple socket of your eye
as deep as the birthstone
centering the diamonds
that sparkle like tears
in the middle of your hand.
You haven’t tasted that metal
pool in your mouth
but that flavor is yet coming
and he’ll teach you to savor it
the way your last hero did.
You don’t know it yet
but you will break free
change your look
change your name
change your habits
change your friends
change your family
and be the sole inmate
of a prison you construct
for another whole decade.
You can’t see her yet
but she will struggle back up
as many times as she falls
Plus one
Plus one
Plus one more time
Your knees aren’t bloodied yet
but she will fight back up
battered like a corpse
but still with a spirit
that revives her.
You don’t feel it now
but that sting will push her harder
because loss takes away
what you have to lose.
You don’t know me yet,
but I am surviving
Yet
I am thriving
our demons are tired
a new day breaks
we know we can’t trust it
but we will be ready
For whatever comes next.